Cynthia Rogers-Harrison, 58, is finding midlife full of changes — in a good way.

In recent years she chose to change jobs, travel out of the country for the first time and become more physically fit. This summer she became an empty-nester when the last of her three children moved away from home. The single mom finds herself suddenly free to cook the way she likes — with onions.

She also got back into playing the piano. She felt awkward taking lessons at first because the other students waiting outside the lesson rooms were children, but she has found playing music to be a great way to relieve stress.

That's not to say there aren't challenges to this stage of life.

She has aches and pains, including arthritis in her right knee, that weren't part of her younger years. She finds herself going to more funerals, recently for a longtime friend, for a colleague and for a friend's mother.

"Death in itself makes you look differently at the life around you," says Rogers-Harrison, who just started a social work job with veterans in Canandaigua, N.Y. "It causes you to stop and think: What am I doing? Life is valuable."

Healthcare providers and therapists say Rogers-Harrison is taking the right approach to midlife: Don't pretend you're still 25. Instead, acknowledge and learn about the changes you're experiencing so you can manage them well.

MIND, NOT JUST BODY

Some of those changes are physical. Suddenly you can't read without glasses. Arthritis or extra exertion brings new stiffness. Your middle gets wider and you struggle to lose weight. New wrinkles appear. Hair turns gray or disappears. Declining hormones — which can affect strength, bones, mood and sexuality — add to the fun.

You can take steps such as exercising regularly to better manage some of those changes. The mental challenges can be bigger.

How do you feel about aging? Does your identity change when your children grow up, or you change employment, or your parents die? Often midlife becomes a time to reassess your life, think about your goals and priorities and what type of legacy you hope to leave. It may be a time to think more about spiritual aspects and why you are here. Those questions can be paralyzing, energizing or somewhere in between.

Dr. George Nasra, psychiatrist with Unity Health in Rochester, N.Y., says the good news is that expectations of midlife are less rigid than for previous generations. It's more common and acceptable for people in their 40s or 50s to go back to college or start new careers. Newer research makes clear that instead of peaking and then declining, our brains — as well as our personalities — are capable of changing, growing and adapting well beyond middle age.

"The brain is like the rest of the body," says Nasra. "You exercise it and it keeps going."

If you're having trouble adjusting to this stage of life, you may benefit from seeking help. Many people don't realize they are suffering clinical depression, which is treatable, says Mary Henry, a licensed social worker who works as a primary therapist at ViaHealth's Genesee Mental Health Center in Rochester.

LOVE AT MIDLIFE

For couples, midlife can be a wonderful or a challenging time. Parents who've been focused on raising children may reconnect as a twosome once the children are independent. It's normal for the sex drive to decline with age for both men and women, but not necessarily at the same time.

Impotence is typically the reason that middle-aged men are referred to Dr. John R. Valvo, chief of urology at Rochester General Hospital. Valvo says that symptom can be treated, but he also tries to help patients look more broadly at sexual function. If men shift their attention from performance to emotional fulfillment, they can become content rather than frustrated.

"There's no pill for love," Valvo points out.

Dr. Thomas L. Campbell, a family physician affiliated with University of Rochester Medical Center, says Viagra has changed impotence but doesn't necessarily improve relationships. A couple may have adjusted to less-frequent sexual activity and adding a drug can disrupt that routine in good or bad ways.

TAKING CONTROL

Healthcare clinicians all advise staying as active as possible — physically, mentally and socially. You'll feel better and be healthier. Take stock of your habits related to eating, sleeping and drinking alcohol. Preventive care becomes even more important in midlife, so it's time to schedule that physical exam and get up to date on screenings such as the Pap smear and mammogram (for women) and colonoscopy (for anyone older than 50), says Dr. Lois Van Tol, a family physician affiliated with the University of Rochester Medical Center.

She gets the most questions about weight loss and diet aids. "Diet and exercise is really the only thing that works long term," says Van Tol.

Rogers-Harrison — the piano-playing onion lover — is finding exercise rewarding in her 50s. She even overcame her fear of the water and, with much effort, learned to swim. Then she swam, bicycled and fast-walked her way to an age-group prize in a triathlon for people older than 50.

In her previous work in hospitals, she's seen people in their 90s with the spirit of a 50-year-old and she's seen people of all ages who are grumpy and lazy.

"And I say, 'You know, Cynthia, which one do you want to be' ?"