Words of remembrance
| Hawaii marks year after Don Ho's death |
Tomorrow will mark the first anniversary of the death of singer Don Ho, one of Hawaii's most beloved and famous entertainers. To honor his memory, some of his family members offered their thoughts on what he meant to them:
HOKU HO (DAUGHTER):
It is hard to think of something small and concise to say about Dad. As is well publicized, he lived an extraordinarily big, full life. Before Dad was gone, I am sorry to say that I didn't truly grasp the size and scope of his fame, his "iconic" status, his influence over the history of Hawaii and the millions of people whose lives he touched with a song, a handshake, a kiss, or just the kindness of his concentrated attention and genuine interest in them during a long, hectic line of autographs.
Though I sat with him, night after night, year after year, for the majority of my adolescence and on into adulthood — watched him interact with his fans, watched their reaction to him — I never really got it. Because that was just him. He was so big ... but he was so humble, so genuine, so loving. He lived small and, I believe, saw himself as small. It wasn't like the fame got to his head, it humbled him more, because he realized that all he had, he owed to millions of people all across the world.
Being able to see, in hindsight, the reality of just how extraordinary my Dad was, I think people should know: He was not just the sweet, fun-loving, hilarious, charming guy when the stage lights were up and the camera was on — he was that way every day and all day! With Dad, where it mattered, what you saw was what you got.
He was the best Dad you could imagine — always hugging and kissing us, always saying "I love you," always telling a funny story or subtly dropping a one-liner that would leave us all (including him) in stitches. All my earlier childhood memories are of us giggling and playing and snuggling and rolling around on the floor. As an adult, he was always telling me how proud he was of me, checking in, calling just to say he was thinking about me or to talk about my day.
I knew I would miss him, but I just didn't realize till he was gone just how much of my life would be missing once he was no longer a daily part of it. I am still surprised sometimes to find that there are yet more things — every day — that I wish he were here for, that I wish I could talk to him about, that I wish I could say to him.
I know that where he is now, he is happy and whole and no longer sick, and that gives me great comfort. Until I get there, all I can do is remember him, remember how much he loved me and know that love is not gone just because he is no longer on this earth. Up in heaven, he is still alive, loving me just as much as before, just as proud of me as he's always been, waiting for me to come join him someday. Until that day comes, I do what I know he would want me to do — face the future and live the fullest life I can.
KEALII HO (SON):
I never fully understood the contributions my father made to Hawaii until the latter years of his life, when I was a few years older. I grew up the youngest of his children, so when I was born he was the oldest version of a father he would know. There was nothing lost in his age, however, and he passed on his love and knowledge into making me who I am today.
I cherish every minute my father spent with me, golfing, talking, driving, singing, and especially house work. What I would give for just one more project to work on together. Since I was to be a man someday, he would be stern, more so with me than with my sisters, but he would let his guard down more than he would keep it up. I knew the love he had for me, he showed me every day.
I can only aspire to one day be as caring. He gave me every principal and moral pillar that I live by, and I will always be grateful for that. The greatest accomplishments I have achieved have simply been the ones which garnered his pride. That he was proud I was his son. His love will shine through all of our family and all of the people of Hawaii.
I never understood what my father had done for Hawaii until recently. He connected people to a time when malama wasn't going above and beyond, it was expected. He represented what a Hawaiian should be: embracing who he was and what was happening around him, but not changing his ways for anyone or anything. He was a role model for so many children of the Islands, and rightfully so. He was a Father to, a Friend of, a Brother to, and a Son of Hawaii.
God bless you, Dad. I know you are at peace. I'll forever miss our time together. Thank you for showing me the way. Thank you for teaching me all you knew. Thank you for my voice and the courage to use it. I love you so much, Dad.
KEA HO (DAUGHTER):
My Dad once said, "In life, it's important to partner with luck." To have been blessed with such an indescribably incredible man as a father, I've always known, I'm one lucky girl.
I can say with absolute conviction that my Dad was the most amazing Dad in the world, far surpassing what it means to be a great father. For all that he was, he is an inspiration and testament that a mere man is capable of such far-reaching greatness and love throughout the world, but as a father, in my eyes he was superhuman.
This was a man touched by the hand of God; he had an inherent magnetism and inner light so powerful and bright that it touched everyone around him, and made people just want to be near him. He made perfect strangers feel this way, too, because he truly embodied warmth, love, and what it really means to be kind and nice to people, without expectation of reciprocation or agenda.
A son of Hawaii, he embodied aloha in every sense of the word. He was magical.
To have him as a father was exceedingly special. His children were the jewels in his crown, and he was, and still is, our glory. He always made me feel like the sun rose and set for me, and he would gladly hang the moon for his family if he could. He showed me such tenderness, wisdom and diplomacy, and fiercely tried to protect me from the "barracudas" of the world, at overbearing lengths at times. He always had grace for me, and instead of getting mad about something, would simply start humming a tune. He made me feel unconditionally loved, adored, and the most beautiful girl in the world, always. We shared the same heart, he always told me, and like our own secret language, we simply understood each other — an irreplaceable bond
I will always be trying to recapture, but know I will never be able to attain, with any other person. He treated my siblings and I like royalty, but through his own example showed us that humility and having aloha are the most admirable and important qualities to have, that family comes before all else, and that smiles and laughter are healing. He has lovingly imbued these priceless lessons in my soul where I will carry them forever.
Always thinking of what he could do for others, every day when I was away, at the end of our conversation, without fail, he would ask, "Is there anything Daddy can do for you?" The answer is a resounding "No." Daddy, you have been more, given more, helped more, shown more, taught more, protected more, provided more, cared more, loved more, and surpassed so much more than any daughter in the world could ever ask for.
I can only ask to one day affect my children as extraordinarily as you've affected yours. My most faithful companion, my confidante, my rock, my most loyal friend, and the absolute love of my life, every day his example makes me want to be a better person, and reminds me that kindness is the most underrated virtue.
Daddy, every day I dream of holding your hand, and I know, I will see you again. Until then, my heart beats for you, and everything you would want me to do. Your everlovin' Princess, Kea bug.
LIZ GUEVARA (MOTHER OF KEALII AND KEA):
The greatest lesson Donald taught me was about the true nature of love. Real love, unconditional love. Not the kind that flows effortlessly toward those we favor, but the more important kind where we must push past our limited understanding of others and our wish to have those around us conform to what we think. To let people be and love them as they are.
He had a true Hawaiian heart. He loved people, he enjoyed hearing each person's story and seeing the world through their eyes. His gift was seeing the worth and the promise in each person. His heart went out to those who struggled, having been there himself. He'd always tell me to cut up the boxes neatly for the refuse collectors because they work hard. He never forgot his days of hard work, and was always mindful of workers. He loved his island home. When I'd point out the full moon, or a sunset, or a flowering tree, he'd say nonchalantly, "I was born here, I'm used to it." But he never wanted to go anywhere else. In fact his dream vacation was to get an RV and travel around the Islands into every out of the way place. He spoke fondly of revisiting places like Keanae on Maui.
He had machismo in spades so he could afford to be soft ... and he was, he was all heart, and his heart was with his family, his heart was with his friends, his heart was with these Islands.
How could a mere man have so much impact on those around him?
He was at once the anchor and sail in our family.
He bound us together in love, kept us rooted in humility, always saying he wanted us to live simply, as "immigrants." He was the visionary, charting our course, our next adventure, the next challenge to be tackled. It was always a joy watching that sail unfurl with such gusto in the wind. His excitement was contagious. Our direction often a surprise.
Our family has lost its captain, and we are left without anchor or sail bobbing in the water, for now; soon we will remember all he taught us, and raise the next sail in his honor.
DONDI HO:
I am so grateful for my father's life. I loved him dearly ... I just adored him.
If you listen, you will hear my father's soul as his heart sings.
His heart was humble and kind ... rendered by the way of aloha and pono.
Embracing the fullness of life and celebrating in it.
Touching people so genuinely, just being himself, and having so much fun.
Loving deeply.
Sharing his love for our home, Hawaii.
His heartbeat was as strong as a bull, living his life so remarkably big and so full ... seemingly invincible ... like the lives of ten men. He kept us lovingly near as we rode the wave of life with him.
The gift was time itself ... spend with him ... enjoying him and my father enjoying you.
I learned gratefulness by his gratefulness ... how special you were to him.
He was always teaching you and helping your heart to know what is right ... I have thanked him so many times for this.
My father's heart is still with us ... in each of my brothers and sisters, his moopuna, our family that his love ached for. His essence lingers here.
I am sure he sang so beautifully on his way to Eternity, where he will be delighted to see that the Lord was with him all along, granting every gift and opening every door, and the Creator of All was the one that raised him up to such great heights so few on earth will ever see, Who ushered him to share his heart and voice with so many other hearts and everyone he loved.
I have learned that Heaven is so near ... I can almost hear his laugh that I miss so much ... and can hear his heart singing.
I love you Dad.
DONALEI HO:
I couldn't recall the exact day, the verbal transition from "Daddy" to "Dad," though it would be difficult not to recall his knowledge, and the most important lessons taught throughout my life.
It seems like yesterday. I always sat in a chair twice my size, behind his desk, listening intently as his words of wisdom seared my soul. A particular lesson, continually ringing in my ears, and undoubtedly passed on to my own daughters, Kilileo and Lahiki, is one speaking of the value of "true friendships."
He always said, "In your lifetime, you have the choice to choose which friends you want to share in your life. Make sure you choose them very wisely. Also, when you choose a friend, make sure you choose them for life. When things go wrong, only you are to blame. Learn from your bad choices, just as you celebrate the victorious ones throughout life."
I realize today that each of my friends know how deeply I cherish our lifelong friendships. His voice of wisdom never ceases in my mind, my heart, and my soul. I will always be forever thankful to our God for this treasure, illustrious to the world but simply Dad to me. I am learning to cherish the tears of remembrance.