Most of us heard the shockingly tragic story of the distraught man here on O'ahu who killed his wife and young son and then himself.

It happened a few weeks ago, and is still hard to understand why he would take the lives of the two people he loved the most. By all accounts they seemed to be a happy family. It is hard to understand how a seemingly loving father could do such a horrible and unimaginable thing. Perhaps mental illness, depression and a fear of being unable to provide for one's family in these difficult economic times played a role. I pray that someone else in such a desperate situation would reach out for help and find someone who would give them a sense of hope and help to find a way out of their depression and their problems. What a drastic thing to do, and how horrific and irreversible the actions.

It was particularly difficult for me. The 7-year-old who was killed was a student at our school. What a happy child, so full of life and enthusiasm, always with a broad smile.

I was in a state of shock, and still find it all hard to believe. It was particularly hard to preside at the funeral. In 32 years of ministry I have done a lot of funerals, hundreds and hundreds, each one is different. The hardest ones are the children.

I remember my youngest sister describing her kids when they were little. They could drive you crazy all day with boundless energy, fighting with each other, and moments of diabolical stubbornness. Then you peek in on them when they are asleep and they look like sweet angels. They touch your heart.

Little Michael looked like an angel in heaven, the sight of his lifeless body both touched and broke my heart.

As the funeral approached, I was struggling over what to say to the family, the classmates, the teachers and others close to those who had died.

I was so touched at the way the sisters and teachers at the school reached out to the families and made them feel so loved and supported at this painful time. I was so proud of our parish family and the love that emerged to embrace and support those who were hurting.

When I got up to speak, the first theme that came to my mind was forgiveness. Jesus spoke so often of the need for forgiveness, the need to banish resentment from our hearts.

Do we want to be a people of hatred or a people of love? Do we want to be a people of hope or of despair? Do we want to be a people of life giving faith who lift up others?

I knew that words would not be enough to heal such wounded hearts so I asked all to stand and join hands. I taught them a simple verse from scripture, put to a tune I had learned long ago, "God is love, and he who abides in love, abides in God, and God in him."

As we held hands and sang it over and over again, the love of God bound us together and began the healing process in our hearts.

The Rev. Jack Ryan is a Roman Catholic priest and pastor at St. John the Baptist in Kalihi.