After days of having the argument that wouldn't end, I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago. And during the anger stage of the breakup, I took comfort in fantasizing about all the ways I could exact my revenge. I thought about giving his address to the neighborhood evangelists, telling them he's an early riser.

Or scrawling his phone number on a bathroom stall at a free clinic. Or even calling the cops to report his car stolen. What a way to make sure he had an especially bad day!

But then I remembered that I didn't really have to work that hard. I could get back at him with just a few keystrokes by putting his profile on www.dont datehimgirl.com.

The site is a haven for broken-hearted ladies to vent their frustrations and post circumstantial evidence of the romantic crimes their men have committed against womankind. Women can search a database of profiles to see if their boyfriends are guilty. It's like a Better Business Bureau for men.

That's right, guys. You might want to think twice the next time you're tempted to dog a girl out. These days, karma has an Internet connection.

Just ask Jarett Jackson. Jackson, a 28-year-old nurse from Cleveland, found himself on the site after he tried to take the easy way out of a relationship with a woman he had been dating for six months. Instead of just telling her that he wanted out, Jackson ran a popular play from the man handbook: He ignored her, hoping she would just get the hint. What she got instead was angry, especially when she found out that he was already with someone else.

The jilted girlfriend, who could not be identified, apparently vented her frustrations to a friend, who decided to get even with Jackson by putting his profile on the site.

"This guy is a liar, cheater ..." read the post about Jackson. "Beware ladies and be careful."

Some other women who recognized Jackson from the post threw in their own jabs.

"I went to college with him. ... He is basically a (butt) around town," one said.

EX-BOYFRIEND: 'OUCH'

Jackson found out through friends that he was featured on the site. His first reaction? "That's kinda ruthless. Ouch."

Jackson went on to deny all the claims made on the site. He admits that he should have been more straightforward with his ex-girlfriend. But he thinks that posting his full name took the retribution too far, especially because he called the woman later to apologize, he said.

"I totally agree that I did not handle the breakup in the best of ways," Jackson said. "But it's not like I had a ring on her finger and left her at the altar. ... I'm not trying to minimize what I did. I'm just saying that there are things in this world that are way worse.

"It's not like I shot her in her leg or something."

The person who posted the profile anonymously did not respond to an e-mail sent through the Web site seeking comment.

The fact that the person was able to make such accusations against Jackson without owning up to it bothers Joe Tracy, publisher of Online Dating Magazine.

He said guys get a raw deal when women are able to dish without divulging their names. Tracy wrote an article critical of dontdatehimgirl.com.

"A person can be a really good, honorable person, and someone who doesn't like them can completely malign their character on sites like this with virtually no recourse," Tracy said.

But guys do have options, said Tasha Cunningham, creator of www.dontdatehimgirl.com. The men in question are free to post rebuttals on their profiles, Cunningham said.

"Men and women have equal time on the site as far as being able to say what they want and get both sides of the story out," Cunningham said. "In a dating situation, the man probably has one point of view of what caused the breakdown of the relationship, and the woman has a completely different version of events."

NEED FOR BALANCE

Regardless of who's right, Gary Hill, a Northwestern University relationship therapist, said it's not good for a woman to dwell on the breakup. Doing so can get her stuck in a bitter rut that keeps her from healing.

"Sometimes, it is good to plain-out vent," Hill said. "Dumping it out, briefly, can be helpful, sort of a catharsis. But it can't linger. And it can't just be pure bashing the guy. It has to be some degree of taking a look at what she did or did not do that contributed to it not working. That's the balance."

As for me, time has helped me strike that balance. It has brought a clarity and calm that convinced me not to put my ex's profile on the site.

I figure that intentionally harming someone has got to invite your own bad karma even if you think he started the whole thing. I think my energy is best spent learning the lessons the breakup has to teach me about love, life and myself.

Plus, I've learned that hurting the person who hurt you doesn't make you hurt any less.