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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Tuesday, August 26, 2008

ABOUT WOMEN
Napping smugly, 14 years later

By Christie Wilson
Advertiser Columnist

I had just pulled my visor down low over my eyes in anticipation of a poolside nap at a local resort when the whining started.

A few minutes earlier, a couple with two young children in tow had spread their towels, bags, sunscreen, swim goggles and an armada of Skittle-colored inflatables across several nearby chaise lounges.

Kids: "Can we go in the pool now? Can we go in the pool now? Can we go in the pool now?"

Dad: "We just got here. I am not going to put up with this for the next 10 days."

More pleading and pouting, then: "I don't want to hear another word from you unless it's, 'I love you, Daddy.' "

I was sympathetic, but also a little smug. Hey, I paid my dues. Plenty.

"Been there, done that, don't want to do it again," I thought to myself.

You cannot set a kid down next to a body of water and not expect them to want to immediately jump in. It's a rule of nature.

And once they're in the pool or the ocean splashing around, you simply cannot afford to blink. It's a matter of life and death, and all the little buggahs want to do all day is swim, and you have to be in the water with them the entire time to ensure their safety.

Say goodbye to that summer best-seller you've been dying to crack open. And you can forget about that mai tai at the pool bar in the cave behind the manmade waterfall. You're on lifeguard duty.

The kids are having a great time, but you're already looking forward to going back to work. Some vacation.

The family drama unfolding several chaise lounges away reminded me of all the milestones in a parent's life, and I'm not talking about birthdays, graduations and other ritual celebrations. There are pivotal events that improve your quality of life but for which they don't make Hallmark cards.

No one throws a party the first time the baby sleeps through the night, or when the little tykes are finally able to make themselves a bowl of cereal and watch cartoons while you sleep in an extra hour on a Sunday morning.

Or when, after a safety briefing and cell phone check, you can let the kids loose at Disneyland, the water park or wherever and say, "See ya in six hours!"

Or, years later, when they're driving themselves to practice and chauffeuring younger siblings around in your place, making your life simpler by half.

Or when you stretch out on a chaise lounge at that hotel pool and know it's OK to pull your visor down low over your eyes and take a much-deserved nap that was 14 years in the making.

If only the family sitting next to you would give it a rest.

Reach Christie Wilson at cwilson@honoluluadvertiser.com.