Surely it was like this at every school back in the days when such things were allowed.

The hard-dirt and pokey-weed playground hurt your feet and the shiny bits of candy wrappers stuck in the weeds at the bottom of the chain-link fence made your eyes tear under the glare of the afternoon sun. The dainty girls in dresses sewn by their mothers (with matching shorts underneath) clung together like silent lambs hoping for a quick and painless demise. The kids with the fast arms and fast talk smiled as they figured out how many they could nail at once.

The strategy in dodge ball, as far as the little lambs were concerned, was to get beaned out as soon as possible. The best of all possible outcomes was to have that red rubber wrecking ball hit one of the big kids on your team square in the chest with a solid "whoot!" and then, aggression spent, gently ricochet off the big kid's body and tamely tag you on the leg.

The worst possible thing was to be the last one standing, alone to bob and weave pathetically as the bloodthirsty third-grade bomb squad aimed to take out your head with that dreaded ball.

The savvy kids knew how to keep from ever being hit. When they had to take a turn in the pool of potential prey, they still managed to play offense, invoking obscure rules and game variations that would change according to their needs and interpretations. They'd catch the ball meant to tag them out and then send it rocketing back at the person who dared to take them on.

A few, only one or two on each team, would play the game by the rules, dodging when they could, accepting elimination without tears, and mounting an earnest defense without mixing in offensive tactics.

The Legislative session opened this week, its own little nut-grass and hard-pan playground of aggression. For all the high ideals and best intentions going into the session, it soon devolves into a game of beaning your opponents, of scoring on their missteps and taking down any initiatives upon which they could lay claim. This being an election year, the stakes for credit-getting, credit-stealing and opponent-humiliation are high.

The saddest thing is watching good legislation get whacked out of the game because somebody was aiming for the lawmaker behind the measure.

Ask any second-term politicians to tell you what they learned since taking office. They'll shake their heads and recite the rules of the game, from making sure you're picked by the stronger team to knowing when to just claim a bum leg and sit out.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.