Shalom! My name is Matthew. If you know anything about the Bible or the life of Jesus, you have heard of me. But I'd like to tell you the story of how I became the man whom you now know as the author of one of the gospels and as a disciple of Jesus Christ. I was not always looked upon as an exemplary person.

I was born into a Jewish home and reared in the faith. Alphaeus, my father, had hoped I'd become a rabbi so I had been given the name "Levi" (which, in the Jewish faith, indicates a rabbinical connection). I attended synagogue and was dutiful in memorizing the sacred Torah. But, as I became older, I chose friends who had not been as enamored by the sacred words of Yahweh as I had been. By the time I was in my late teens, I'd been associating with those who liked money and the things it could buy. Some of the guys knew of a way to get rich quick. It sounded good to me. I signed up. I had no idea what the emotional costs of being totally ostracized would be when I agreed to become a tax collector for Rome.

I embarrassed and hurt my family deeply. They, as did many Jews, looked upon paying taxes as treason to Yahweh. A Jew who signed on with Caesar was about as despicable and as low as a human could go. Serving a foreign oppressor against our own people, my buddies and I were literal robbers.

We could tax whatever we wanted to for as much as we wanted, and as long as Rome got its quota we could keep the rest. Consequently, we took every advantage and that meant we and our families were bitterly hated. We were disqualified from holding communal office. We could not give testimony in court. Certainly, we could not attend synagogue. In fact, we were labeled publicans and sinners. Prostitutes and criminals were given as much respect as we were. We were total rejects from the mainstream of society, so we tended to band together in outlaw style.

I had set up my tax collection booth in Capernaum near the Sea of Galilee. A major occupation in this area was fishing. I would set up at daybreak so as to be there when the fishermen came in with their catches from the night before. I'd collect tax from each one and my friend, Eli, would sell the fish in his fish market. If a fisherman cursed me or acted reluctant, I could write him up for delinquent taxes or defying Rome and have him out of business within a day. With such power, it was easy to demand excessive amounts. Eli and I had quite a lucrative business going. We were making money hand over fist. The only problems were my feelings of shame and guilt, particularly with regard to my family. It hurts to be totally despised, rejected and isolated from your own people. My family was suffering greatly from my shameful actions and the guilt was eating me alive.

Each morning, I'd go out as the sun was peeping over the beautiful Sea of Galilee. Often, I'd see a man coming in from the nearby wilderness area. I recognized him. He was Jesus, a carpenter from Nazareth, who was now teaching the people about the Kingdom of God. He'd go out each day long before dawn to pray. Many believed he was the Messiah the Jews had been seeking for more than 800 years. I'd seen him as he walked around in Capernaum with great crowds following him. He would teach and the people would hang on to his words. Sometimes, he would heal the sick or lame and there would be joyous shouts from the crowds. The one thing I noticed more than anything else was the look of compassion and caring he gave me each time he passed. I was so accustomed to being hated, resented and shunned that a smile, a friendly look and warm greeting of "Shalom" was like a drink of cold water to a parched man. His open acceptance of me totally shook me to my toes. I wanted to know more about him and eagerly listened to the many things that were being said about him.

One day he came close to my booth. "Matthew," he said. "Follow me."

I didn't have to be asked twice. I immediately "closed up shop" and followed him. He had intrigued me with his look. Now he inspired me with his call. I accepted the invitation and I couldn't wait to have my friends learn of him, too. I planned a dinner where they could meet a man who would love and accept them, not judge, condemn and reject them.

We were enjoying a lavish meal and having a great time. Suddenly, the door opened and the Pharisees came barging in. The Pharisees saw themselves as righteous. They perceived that their righteousness was the result of meticulously keeping the law and totally avoiding contact with sinners. Jesus was breaking all the rules. They viewed him and his teachings as dangerous or heretical.

That night, one of them demanded to know why Jesus was associating with tax collectors and sinners. Before the disciples could speak, Jesus stood and said, "It is not healthy people who need a doctor, but the sick." Then he further angered them by quoting a verse from the prophet Hosea. He said, "Go and learn what this means: 'I want mercy more than I want animal sacrifice.' " He went on to say, "I did not come to invite good people but to invite sinners to repent."

Over and over, I watched Jesus, my Master, exhibit mercy, kindness and compassion to those who were starving for acceptance. Repeatedly, he invited sinners and those who were rejected to follow him. He reached out to those considered the absolute dregs of society. He offered them a new way of life, a life of love and acceptance by a loving Heavenly Father, and a life of service by loving and serving one another.

In my gospel, I presented a Jesus who reached out and accepted the rejects of society, the desperate, the discouraged, the lonely, the suffering, the tormented, the grieving, the spiritually starved, the abused, the neglected. Why did I write such stories? Did I want to gain honor for myself by becoming a teller of tales? Did I want you to know of the past? Did I want to amaze my readers?

No, I wanted you to know not only what Jesus did then but what Jesus does now. Jesus is alive and his power is working through those who believe in him. The scriptural stories picture a God who loved and cared then and who loves and cares now.

Christ-like people extend the mercy of God to "down and out" humans because "while we were yet sinners" God extended his mercy to us "by sending his only son to die for us."

That is the picture I painted with words in the gospel I wrote about Jesus. That is the one I presented to others as I followed him until I died. That is the one I want you to see and know today. Come and follow him. He doesn't reject, no matter who you are or what you've done.

Loree Brown is adult bible class discussion leader at Waianae United Methodist Church.