My daughter came home from school, and sat at the table with me.

"Mom," she said, "we're doing our last school project, and we need to know what our parents are reading. How do you choose a book?"

"It must be a book that catches my attention, and changes the way I think," I said. "I love to read self-help books. I have always felt that people can do better, someone just needs to point the way.

"I'm reading 'Sacred Contracts' by Caroline Myss. She talks about the people in our life. She believes that everyone in our life is there by appointment or as she calls it, they have a contract with you. The purpose is to help each other make a spiritual transformation."

My daughter took out her notebook and started to jot down a few notes.

"I consider it to be an opinion book until it plays out and becomes my experience," I went on. "Then experience becomes my truth, and then I try to live my life according to that knowledge."

"Is that a good thing?" she asked.

"It can be," I replied. "History books are full of knowledge based on someone else's experience. Myss believes we agreed before time, in the sight of God. That is what makes the contract sacred.

"I've always thought that we each have a message for each other. But because a good part of our experiences are felt through pain, we often miss the message that was brought to us."

My daughter lowered her head. I watched her struggle for a while.

"There is a girl that I don't like, and she really bugs me!" she said.

"Often when we read books, it's because it will tell you about you," I said. "Even books that are meant for entertainment are still trying to tell you something."

"Mom, what does that have to do with this girl that I don't like?" she asked.

I smiled and just waited for my daughter, who by this time knew that my silence meant she was supposed to figure out something.

"Mom! Oh, no! Mom!" She started screaming, "She's the book I'm supposed to read! It's about me!"

My daughter sat there in wide-eyed wonderment: "I don't like her because she reminds me, of me ... right? Something I have to change?"

"Sacred contracts," I replied. "Seems to me you got your message."

Upon reaching the door she said, "Mom, you should write a book."

"Lots of books are already written, but it's reading them that matters," I said. "If you can read ... you can do anything!"

A. Lee Totten, mother of 11, has adopted seven foster children.