Thomas Bew Lau, 92, set his walking cane aside to rest in his cozy, cream-colored armchair. The Palolo resident leaned back with an easy smile, looking content and comfortable — a stark contrast to the images he would describe of his early hardships as a young Chinese immigrant to Hawai'i.

His most vivid memories include his time spent as a teen working on a distant uncle's vegetable farm in Kahalu'u in exchange for room and board. With an allowance of just 25 cents a week from a brother, Lau only had enough money each day to buy one cone sushi for lunch — not enough to fuel him for a grueling afternoon in the field.

He recalled one particular day on the farm when he was near starving. Desperate for food, he dug up one of his uncle's sweet potatoes and ate it raw — leaves and all.

"I think about my old days, I feel like crying," Lau said, his eyes welling up with tears and his voice shaking. "I don't want (my children) to struggle like me."

After becoming a father, Lau was determined to instill in his three sons and daughter the importance of getting a good education and job, and working hard. It's among the reasons why the United Chinese Society of Hawai'i will honor Lau as its Model Chinese Father of the Year at its annual banquet on June 29 at Empress Restaurant.

With Father's Day and the awards banquet approaching, Lau's children spent some time recently reflecting on the life and lessons of the family patriarch.

"For me, the most important lesson I learned from him is the family values, why he worked hard," said Lau's son, Franklin Y.P. Lau, 57, an optometrist from 'Aiea. "What the father does for the family in the old (Chinese) tradition is to provide everything, set discipline, give your children hope — that's what I remember he did and what I appreciate most."

WORKED MANY JOBS

Joined by his three sons and one of his nine grandchildren, Lau sat in his living room, filled with framed family photos and shaded by an enormous mango tree growing in the front yard.

Calm and quiet most of the time, Lau's face and hands became animated as he described in broken English his early years in Hawai'i.

Lau's father and two older brothers worked in Hawai'i and sent money back home to Lau and the rest of his family in China. But after his father and oldest brother died from tuberculosis, Lau — at just 16 years old — took it upon himself to join his other brother in Hawai'i to earn money for the family.

Despite a strange new land and language, Lau managed to work many jobs to earn a living to support his family in China, and eventually his own family. His jobs over the years included making sandwiches at a Bethel Street cafe, working at a pineapple cannery in Iwilei and buying/operating a grocery business in Kaimuki with his brother.

Lau and his wife, Lei Yiu Lau, who died in 2005, had four children — all of whom remember their father working long hours to make ends meet.

A humble man, Lau said it was his wife who did all the parenting.

"I credit it to my wife," Lau said. "She raised the children. I only support them with my money."

But his sons remember him as more than just a provider. He was a firm disciplinarian who used a stern voice and facial expressions — never hitting — to get his message across, his sons said.

His eldest son, Hawai'i Kai resident Robert Y.K. Lau, 59, recalled a specific childhood incident he'll never forget.

"I spent so much time reading comics, he took them and he burned them," the retired manager of Food Pantry Ltd. recalled with a laugh. "If I was reading regular books, it would've been fine."

Getting his children to appreciate reading and studying stemmed from Lau's own experiences from a lack of education.

"I remember we would make fun of his English and he would get mad at us," Franklin Lau said. "He said, 'Education (is) important. You have to learn how to be better than me.' He worked hard so that we could have the education."

PASSION, HARD WORK

As Lau's family sat around him in Lau's Palolo home, they expressed their pride in his accomplishments — his passion for education, hard work and community service.

"I just feel really happy and proud," said Lau's youngest grandson, Joshua, 17, who will be a senior at Punahou School.

Since 1957, the United Chinese Society of Hawai'i has sponsored the annual Model Parent Recognition Program. Selection is made on four criteria: the accomplishments of the recipients, their community service, their contributions to the family, and the achievements and successes of the children.

"He sacrificed his entire life for the advancement of his children and grandchildren," said Lau's youngest son, Brian Y.C. Lau, a senior vice president at First Hawaiian Leasing, a subsidiary of First Hawaiian Bank.

Brian Lau, 55, of Niu Valley, said he is grateful his dad is also being recognized for his many years of contributions to the civic and cultural organizations he has served with and led over the years. Lau is the past president of organizations such as the Hawai'i Chinese Buddhist Society, Leong Doo Society of Honolulu and Lau Family Association of Hawai'i.

The United Chinese Society of Hawai'i's Model Parents are given an all-expense paid trip to China, in addition to the banquet held in their honor.

Lau topped about six other nominees; he and his family were told the good news in April.

"I was surprised," Lau said, beaming. "When they announced that I got the (award), I thought I was dreaming."

Meanwhile, Lau continues to share his beliefs in life priorities with his children, grandchildren and other young fathers open to his wisdom.

"The first thing is education, being smart," Lau said. "When they get a good job, then they can raise their family."

GATHERING ALSO WILL RECOGNIZE 2 OTHER WINNERS

In addition to honoring its Model Chinese Father of the Year on June 29, the United Chinese Society of Hawai'i will also honor a Model Chinese Mother of the Year winner and Lifetime Achievement Award recipient: