The commanding officer of a Hawai'i-based battalion of more than 1,000 Marines and sailors died yesterday in Iraq in an attack that also killed two other Kane'ohe Marines, the military said today.

Lt. Col. Max A. Galeai, 42, the commanding officer of the 2nd Battalion, 3rd Marines at Marine Corps Base Hawai'i, is believed to have been killed in the town of Karmah in Anbar province, about 30 miles west of Baghdad in a suicide bomb attack that also claimed New York native Capt. Phil Dykeman, 38, the leader of the battalion's Fox Company, and 23-year-old Sgt. Marcus Preudhomme, of North Miami Beach, Fla., an administrative clerk with the battalion.

About 20 Iraqis also died in the bombing.

Marine Corps Base Hawaii officials would only confirm that the three were killed in Anbar.

The attack reportedly happened when a suicide bomber dressed in a police uniform detonated an explosive belt during a meeting of tribal sheiks and community leaders opposed to al-Qaida in Iraq, The Associated Press said. The bombing occurred just two days before U.S. officials planned to formally hand over security responsibility for Anbar to the Iraqis, marking a major milestone in the transformation of a province that had been the most violent in Iraq.

The handover was postponed today — but because of weather, not the attack, officials said.

Galeai and the other two Marines are the first fatalities of the 2nd Battalion, 3rd Marines in this deployment, which started in February. The battalion is set to return in August.

Since the war started, 84 Hawai'i-based Marines and sailors have died in Iraq.

Friends remembered Galeai yesterday as a dedicated family man, a natural leader and a caring buddy who would never burden others with his problems. Just last week, in the midst of his deployment in Iraq, he sent e-mails to friends with jokes about the hot weather and friendly queries about how they were doing.

"I'm trying to cope with the fact that he's no longer with us," said Marine Master Gunnery Sgt. Taumaoe Gaoteote of California, a longtime friend.

"I didn't know how to react when I heard. I never thought it would actually happen to him."

In a newsletter for families of Kane'ohe-based Marines, Galeai wrote in February that during the deployment, battalion members would be "working with Iraqi police, Iraqi army and other(s) ... as we help the Iraqi people establish the conditions necessary for them to assume responsibility for their own security and local governance."

One of Galeai's friends, Marine Master Gunnery Sgt. Paul Moniz of New York, said he heard from Galeai about a week ago in an e-mail. Galeai didn't talk much about what he was doing in Iraq, but made sure to ask Moniz about how he was holding up.

"He was a friend, mentor, bigger than life, extremely bright, just one of those guys," Moniz said.

Moniz, who used to work under Galeai, said the officer always "sunk his teeth into his work" and expected a lot from people, but also praised them when they delivered. "He was definitely an inspirational guy," Moniz said. "He was caring, compassionate."

Master Sgt. Brett W. Beard, of California, also used to work under Galeai and quickly befriended him.

"He just made it super easy to go out there to work day after day," Beard said. "His first love was always leading Marines."

This was Galeai's second deployment to Iraq.

Galeai graduated from Oregon State University in 1988, and joined the Marines out of college.

Before coming to the Islands in 2007, he served in Virginia, California, Okinawa and elsewhere.

His service awards include two Bronze Stars, the Purple Heart and five Meritorious Service Medals.

Gaoteote said Galeai is survived by his wife, Evelyn, and four children.

Dykeman, the leader of Fox Company, joined the Marines in June 1991 and came to Hawai'i in May 2007. He has been awarded a host of medals, including the Purple Heart.

Preudhomme joined the Marines in 2005, and was sent to Hawai'i the same year.

His awards include the Purple Heart and the Combat Action Ribbon, the Marines said.