Posted on: Saturday, May 31, 2008
flASHback — Last week, we pointed our cheeky tongue at the GOP state convention, and now it's the Democrats' turn in our weekly "flASHback" on the news that amused and confused:
Brian Schatz became the Hawai'i Democratic Party's youngest chairman at 35. The Barack Obama campaign attracted so many young, first-time delegates to the state convention that they had to set up burping stations at the end of the buffet line.
Convention leaders were determined to achieve perfect harmony between Obama and Hillary Clinton supporters. Delegates who showed up wearing "Nanny-Nanny-Boo-Boo" T-shirts were sent home to change.
Democratic State Sen. Ron Menor went to jail for part of the weekend after pleading no contest to drunken driving. That was one way to get out of listening to convention speeches.
U.S. Sen. Daniel Inouye had an even better ball-and-chain excuse, skipping the convention to get married in Beverly Hills. Now he goes forth to exemplify what they say — husbands are living proof that women can take a joke.
Police hope to deter shady activity on the River Street mall by removing trellises that provided cover for troublemakers. If it works, maybe we should take the roof off the Capitol.
Mayor Mufi Hannemann is so competitive. When Hawai'i's average gas price passed $4 a gallon, he immediately topped that by nine zeroes by pushing the cost of rail transit past $4 billion.
Blaming high fuel costs, airlines raised fares to Hawai'i by $80 and added a $15 fee for the first checked bag. Next, they'll charge extra for lost luggage to ding us for the fuel to send our bags to Helsinki instead of Honolulu.
I thought I heard Mesa Air Group CEO Jonathan Ornstein promise his near-bankrupt airline will keep go! flying in Hawai'i, but I'm rusty on translating forked tongue.
Several public schools will be fined up to $26,000 by the state Department of Education for spending too much on electricity. Pretty soon, the kids will be flailing around in the dark just like the policymakers.
Consumers around the country are joining Hawai'i in eating more Spam as rising fuel costs cut into food budgets. If there was a way to harness the gas that Spam produces, we could tell the Saudis to keep their oil.
And the quote of the week ... from U.S. Rep. Neil Abercrombie, on Obama's impact on Democrats: "I think this is a real chance to bring the party into the 21st century." Talk about slow learners. The 21st century started eight years ago!
David Shapiro can be reached by e-mail at dave@volcanicash.net. Read his daily blog at http://volcanicash.honadvblogs.com.
David Shapiro, a veteran Hawai'i journalist, can be reached by e-mail at dave@volcanicash.net. His columns are archived at www.volcanicash.net. Read his daily blog at blogs.honoluluadvertiser.com.
