LOS ANGELES — What happens when a century of misery collides head-on with two decades of futility?

Somebody actually has to win. It's a little-known corollary of Murphy's Law, which states that everything can't go wrong for everybody at the same time. Even misfortune has to make a choice.

So which team would get the nod from the fickle finger of fate in this NL Division Series?

Would it be the Chicago Cubs, who hadn't won a World Series since 1908? Or would it be the Dodgers, who hadn't won a playoff series since 1988?

Turned out, it was no contest — and there was no suspense.

Despite dragging the worst regular-season record into the playoffs among the eight qualifiers, Joe Torre's Dodgers manhandled Lou Piniella's Cubs, completing a three-game sweep in the best-of-5 series with a 3-1 victory Saturday night at Dodger Stadium.

It was the first time the Dodgers have celebrated a postseason series victory on the field since Orel Hershiser closed out the Oakland A's in Game 5 of the 1988 World Series and came, fittingly, in the 50th-anniversary season since the franchise moved from Brooklyn to Los Angeles in 1958.

As for the Cubs, who boasted the National League's best record in 2008 season, their legacy as loveable losers continues.

At least this time they didn't blow a 2-0 series lead against the San Diego Padres (see 1984 NLCS) or fall apart in the eighth inning of a potential clincher after one of their fans interfered with a catchable foul ball (see 2003 NLCS).

This time the agony was constant. They lost Game 1, 7-2, in Chicago when Troy Loney's grand slam was the big blow; lost Game 2 in Chicago, 10-3, when all four Cubs infielders contributed errors; and lost Game 3 in LA by scoring one meaningless run in the eighth inning.

If you're scoring at home, that's nine consecutive postseason losses by the Cubs dating to 2003, the year bespectacled fan Steve Bartman apparently had to join the Federal Witness Protection Program.

But let's not dwell on the losers. How about those Dodgers?

They have advanced to the NL Championship Series for the first time since 1988, when a guy named Mike Scioscia hit a key home run at Shea Stadium to help them knock out the Mets in seven games.

And it doesn't matter that 14 major league teams finished with better regular-season records than the Dodgers (84-78) this season or that they would have finished 16 games behind the Angels if they had been in the AL West instead of the NL West. (By the way, Arte is probably in favor of that.)

Which team with the Los Angeles prefix has a better chance to get to the World Series now?

In all fairness to the Dodgers, everyone outside of Boston knows that Torre's troops became a more dangerous team the day Manny Ramirez arrived in a trade-deadline deal on July 31. All he did was hit .396 and drive in 53 runs in 53 games.

Even Piniella, the second-year Cubs manager, went out of his way to make sure everyone in the media understood the Dodgers record was misleading during a news conference before Game 3.

"When you add a Manny in the 3-hole (third spot in the batting order), I think it makes everybody feel a little more comfortable and obviously more confident," Piniella said.

And, Piniella went on, when an injured Rafael Furcal returns at the top of the order and you acquire third baseman Casey Blake and insert him near the bottom of the order, you have a team capable of knocking off the best team in the National League.

"All of a sudden you're facing a different look than what you've seen this past summer from the Dodgers," Piniella said.

All of a sudden, the Dodgers are four victories from another World Series.

And the Chicago Cubs are going home. Again.

Upon further review: So much for my prediction of an Angels-Cubs World Series.

I should have known better. Just because the Angels (100-62) and the Cubs (97-64) finished with the best records in their respective leagues didn't make them the automatic favorites to advance to the World Series.

The last time the teams with the best record in each league met in the World Series was 1999, when the Yankees (98-64) beat the Atlanta Braves (103-59).

But if you still want to see the Angels and Cubs play in the Series, you can rent the 1990 movie "Taking Care of Business," starring longtime Cubs fan Jim Belushi. It happened there. Honest.

Celebrity sightings: Billy Crystal, a good friend of Torre's, sat in the same row as Tommy Lasorda, just in front of Dodgers owners Frank and Jamie McCourt.

Actor Vince Vaughn, wearing a Cubs cap, was booed when he was shown on the scoreboard. And newest Clipper Baron Davis was wearing a retro Dodgers jersey.

Parting shot: From a thoroughly drenched Torre, returning to the field 20 minutes after the final out to address the jubilant crowd: "You are very, very special. Thank you for supporting us when we were struggling and couldn't get out of our own way. I want to thank all of you. Just don't go away. We'll be back next week. We still have eight more games to win!"