Career playing catch-up
By Ann Miller
Advertiser Staff Writer
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Those words you hear — particularly as you close in on graduation — about any dream being possible if you just work hard enough should probably come with an asterisk.
Jessica Keefe can define the asterisk. Her definition might go something like, "Anything is possible, it just might not be what you thought it would be, and your ability to deal with that will ultimately say more about you than any dream."
Keefe has seen good times, great times and unbelievably aggravating and painful times in her four-plus volleyball seasons at the University of Hawai'i. When she walks away in December, after four knee surgeries, she will be a changed woman from the Iowa Player of the Year that matriculated to Manoa in 2004.
She had a plan then. She always has until now, when her impending graduation will take her back to the Mainland and an uncertain future. "Not having a plan is horrifying," Keefe admits. "Ask anybody who knows me."
The college plan was conceived in her junior year at Ames High School. She chose Hawai'i over other programs like Oregon and Oklahoma even though she knew there would be no "immediate impact" here. She was prepared to put in her time because if she could make an impact here, "that means I'm one of the best players in the nation."
Her "time" multiplied the moment she blew out her right knee in the final basketball game of her high school career. She red-shirted in 2004, watched, waited and learned in 2005. She finally worked her way into a starting position in 2006, just before blowing out her other knee on the final play of — ironically — a Hawai'i blowout in Ruston, La.
The timing was nearly as painful as the injury, but Keefe refuses to dwell on regret.
"You can't change what happened. All you can do is work from this point on," she said. "I've spent so much of my career trying to get back to be normal and then trying to get better. I spent a lot of time playing catch-up. For the first time in a long time I feel like I'm actually moving beyond and becoming a better player. I'm not playing catch-up anymore."
She is also not starting in her senior year, instead learning to embrace her role as a situational front-row substitute brought in for her exceptional ability to stuff opponents. Her perspective has been forced to change and her newfound ability to roll with that punch might be the asterisk that best explains what Keefe will take from her Manoa journey.
It has nothing to do with reaching NCAA regionals and Top 10 rankings and working your okole off for playing time. It has everything to do with:
Keefe calls her journey here an "evolution." Somehow it has grown on her the past two seasons, since the realization hit that she would never be the impact player on the country's ninth-ranked team, but she could be something more valuable.
"Playing volleyball here is such a unique experience to playing anywhere else," Keefe said. "I feel like the community support and involvement here is unparalleled. You can't go somewhere else and expect what you get here — the kind of support and fan base and all that. Even as a redshirt I would walk down the street and people would know I was a Hawai'i volleyball player. That's unheard of anywhere else.
"I definitely think this has been a pivotal part of me growing up and learning responsibility and learning how to be an individual and how to take things in stride and learn as you go. I'm pretty hard on myself and I think this has made me realize you do have to go with the flow sometimes. You can't have control over everything. I can't believe I'm saying that: I can't control everything. It is what it is, you make of it what you can.
"I look back and I don't think I would have learned as much about myself anywhere else. I've had trials and tribulations and triumphs so it's been a pretty well-rounded experience. I got to be on a Top 10 team. That's pretty good. I wouldn't trade it, wouldn't go back and change things. Knowing the person I am now, I'm glad that I didn't."
It is no surprise that UH coach Dave Shoji compares Keefe to Cayley Thurlby, who diligently backed up All-America setter Kanoe Kamana'o for five years, without complaint. Like Keefe, Thurlby was a brilliant student and active on the Student-Athlete Advisory Committee, infinitely reliable and always there when a teammate needed her, to pick up a forgotten backpack or listen to a complex problem. Keefe also has proved her ability to stuff a Pepperdine player at match point and put up a big block in practice to prepare the starters for their next opponent.
Both persevered and even prospered in a position no player dreams about coming out of high school. Keefe has learned to deal with her frustration by finding new goals to go after, searching out her spiritual side and preparing herself for the world that awaits after graduation.
Keefe, well-read and articulate, is keenly aware that at this moment in history her new world "is definitely not a big Welcome Sign." But she's now confident she has the inner resolve to work her own welcoming magic.
"I'm more than volleyball and I want to prove it," Keefe said. "It's just a small part of who I am for the last five years and it's just the beginning."
And those who have watched her over the years have always had more confidence in Keefe than she has had in herself.
"She'll be a professional person," Shoji said. "Wherever she decides to channel her abilities, there's no doubt in my mind she will succeed. She is one that sets goals and goes after them. She's a person that knows what she wants to do."
Assistant Ryan Tsuji takes it a step further: "She definitely has every opportunity to succeed because she is so bright. I could see her being a really tough businesswoman, see her as a CEO. She's very driven and determined and will be successful."
Even her biggest fan, mother Deb Keefe, has never worried about her daughter an ocean away. She characterized Jessica's move from Iowa to Hawai'i as "the chance of lifetime."
"I thought it was awesome and she really wanted to go," recalled Deb, who admits the family probably paid out in travel as much as it saved in tuition. "Plus, I knew she had a good head. I wanted her to enjoy it and have fun, but don't get too distracted. She got plenty of beach time, but her grades show she was not that distracted."
Deb, who admits to being frustrated Jessica didn't play more, now views the move to Hawai'i as something that "softened the edges a little" on her driven daughter.
"She's learned life is not all about volleyball," Deb said. "It's made her reflect more on herself as a person. If she was just about volleyball it would have made her a little sadder. She's found more avenues to rely on, found strength in being with her friends and bible study classes. Other parts of her personality define her more than volleyball."
The Keefes now live just north of Denver and Jessica will move back in when she graduates to ease the pressure of earning a living immediately.
No one expects her to be home long. Keefe has worked with Hawai'i Speed and Quickness, Team Unlimited/Xterra and the Hula Bowl since she has been here. State Sen. Fred Hemmings made sure her resume, designed to attract sports marketing employers, was seen by Denver Broncos owner Pat Bowlen. If that doesn't work out, Keefe has many other options.
"I really see her blossoming, finding her way," Deb Keefe said. "She may not find the perfect job the first or second time out, but I think she embraces that whole challenge. I would have a tough time thinking she would not be successful. She is just that kind of kid. She won't accept less than that."
Keefe is clearly not a kid anymore. She realizes, more than most, the responsibilities of playing for a high-profile program in Hawai'i and how it helped her grow. The thought of not having a plan in her post-paradise life is starting to feel more "exciting" than "horrifying."
Little happened here the way she planned it, and it didn't come out too bad.
"Knowing what I know now I'd definitely do it again," Keefe said. "There have been times it hasn't been easy and it's still not necessarily easy, but knowing that I stuck with something that wasn't easy, something that made me push myself as an individual to do something I didn't necessarily expect to have to do or didn't know it would be as hard as it is, I feel so much more a sense of accomplishment."
Turns out, the asterisk has a happy ending.
Reach Ann Miller at amiller@honoluluadvertiser.com.
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