My little brother's wedding was planned for last month, and he wanted me to be the best man.

Normally, that's the kind of occasion when you drop everything and just make sure you're there, even if it means traveling to the other side of the world for the ceremony. That was the case for me, as my brother's wedding took place in Sweden.

When your wife is pregnant, however, and she's expected to give birth around the time of your brother's wedding, the choice to leave her and go on a trip is not that easy. That was the case for me.

What's worse, missing your brother's wedding or missing the birth of your child? Probably missing the birth. You can count on a wedding to take place as scheduled, though. Not so with a birth. Baby can decide to come out way after the wedding, and in that case, you missed the wedding for nothing if you decided to stay home.

That's how the discussions went at our house before my wife and I finally decided together on what to do.

When I was growing up, my job as a big brother was pretty well set. I was the role model, the one who showed how things are done, and my little brother was the one who learned from me.

In the summers, we'd play Frisbee in the yard, and I was the one who showed him how to throw the disc straight and far. I showed him how you can make your own Star Wars comics and how to operate the family computer. That was my job. My brother practiced and got better. That was his job.

But it was also his job to allow me to show him how it's done, to let me be the role model, and that was a job he always did very well. I always felt that he looked up to me. I always felt his admiration.

That's the way things went between us for a long time. Our roles were sustained many years later, when our lives had gotten way too busy to spend the summers playing Frisbee. But as I saw my brother learn to play the guitar and write his own music, buy a condo with his fiancée and welcome their child into the world, it dawned on me that the role as the one who shows how things are done was no longer exclusively mine.

I've admired many things about my brother. I've often been the one looking up to him but I had never told him that. At some point, I realized: Man, I really should. After all these years, he deserves to know how I feel. Now, if there were only an appropriate occasion for me to somehow tell him this, to convey this message. Maybe some sort of grand event, when family and friends are gathered so everyone could hear. Like a wedding.

Last month, I left my pregnant wife at home, whispered through her belly my apologies to our unborn baby, and flew to my brother's wedding. I was the best man and in my speech, I told him I look up to him. I told him he will always have my admiration, and the look on his face revealed how much it meant to him to hear that.

To me, it was worth the risk of missing the birth of our second baby girl. I think she heard my whispers, because she waited until I was back before she made her appearance.