Posted on: Saturday, September 27, 2008
Lingle stumping as Isles founder
By David Shapiro
Local voters yawned through the primary election and the presidential race became an economic summit. We'll start there as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused:
Gov. Linda Lingle left the state budget crisis behind to campaign for John McCain on the Mainland just as McCain suspended his campaign due to the national financial crisis. With that flair for slapstick, Lingle should have sat in for McCain on the Letterman show.
Running mate Joe Biden said Barack Obama's campaign ad mocking McCain as computer illiterate was "terrible." He was warming up to debate Obama in case McCain didn't show up.
First lady Laura Bush said we shouldn't worry about VP nominee Sarah Palin's ignorance of foreign policy because she's "a quick study." That's what they said about her husband and look where it got us.
Mufi Hannemann and Ann Kobayashi prepped for their mayoral runoff by promising to take the gloves off. That'd be fine if they'd stuff them in their mouths.
Three Honolulu City Council members cruised to easy re-election. I guess voters wanted to just say yes to dysfunction.
Voter turnout in the primary election was Hawai'i's lowest since statehood. If we don't step it up, Congress might believe Hawaiians who say we don't want to be a state anymore.
Chuck E. Cheese is closing its 'Aina Haina pizzeria. Where's the ConCon supposed to meet now?
Schools chief Pat Hamamoto went on TV to sell her plan for $31 million in budget cuts. It was an effective show except for the bolo head who kept asking, "Deal or No Deal?"
A visiting professor said bullying is the No. 1 problem in our schools. I agree. They need to start teaching kids how to read instead of training them for politics.
The city let a bus driver caught playing a video game at the wheel complete his shift before suspending him. Thank goodness. We might have been destroyed if Duke Nukem couldn't finish killing the protozoid slimer with his Mighty Foot.
The FAA suspended two go! airline pilots who fell asleep during a flight to Hilo. If the plane had crashed, they would have been fined, as well.
And the quote of the week ... from Jason Misaki, state biologist, on why 12 ducks were shot at Hamakua Marsh: "The feral ducks take away habitat from our native birds. They compete for food and space. They also hybridize with native ducks." If "hybridize" means what I think, a lot of folks are in big trouble if it's a capital offense.
Reach David Shapiro at dave@volcanicash.net.
