Believe it or not, I have a note from my doctor that says I have a slight hearing loss that affects the range of soundwaves produced by women and children. Sometimes I can't hear everything they're saying.

Some men will consider this bragging, but I'm not sure if it's a blessing or curse.

Mrs. G. laughed for 5 minutes when I told her about my condition. She's been saying this for years, but she still didn't believe me, even when I showed her the test results.

The Little Darlings simply scowled. One of them expressed herself with sign language. No communication problem there. She communicates mostly through text message anyway.

They had been on my case for months to get my hearing checked.

"You're going deaf."

"You're not listening."

"You're ignoring. ..."

But they would say something and I swear it sounded more like mumbling. Were they doing this on purpose? I was starting to get a complex.

"Huh? What? Sure. Wait. What did you just say?"

I wanted to hear them, and not just because they got mad whenever I asked them to repeat what was said. At that point, their responses were always loud and clear.

My diagnosis felt like a stereotype from the battle of the sexes. At some point in time, a lot of men probably feel they're victims of nagging. I don't hear enough complaints under my own roof to count myself among them.

Or is it just that I can't hear the complaints?

Still, there was scientific proof that backed up my condition. Researchers at the University of Sheffield in England have concluded that there are differences in the way the male brain interprets male and female voices.

The female voice is "more complex" and possesses a "greater natural melody," which causes a dizzying range of sound frequencies compared to the male voice.

These same scientists, however, believe this is why most people who hear hallucinatory voices hear male voices. Apparently it would be harder to create a false female voice than a false male voice.

Informal opinions on my condition are everywhere. My favorite was from a blogger — a man — who concluded that men suffer from Guy Attention Deficit Syndrome.

Another blogger — someone's wife — wondered if men had "relationship dyslexia." She was convinced that men listened very well but they immediately forgot what they heard.

Closer to home, a friend at work thought my hearing loss could be explained by overuse. Now that's a tricky issue.

The real dilemma, though, is what to do about this condition.

Should I consider it a bulletproof hall pass for the rest of my life? Or do I have to work harder at hearing?

What if I just convinced everyone in my house to shout at me?

Honestly, I have no answer, but I welcome suggestions. Just be sure to put them in writing.