From candy canes to creches, we each have our own unique way of celebrating Christmas. Though customs vary, most include gathering together with others, especially our 'ohana.

Growing up, my family would usually have Christmas lunch with my father's relatives, and then join my mother's side for dinner. On occasion, we would break from tradition. My parents once found a bargain and we departed for the "Ninth Island" instead. Another year my family flew to vacation in Florida. I was so busy completing my thesis that I almost didn't join them ... but was glad I did. No matter how our 'ohana spent Christmas — whether among relatives, buffets or manatees — we spent it together.

Now I am married with two small keiki of my own. Between us and the grandparents living in three different states, plus a full work schedule, it's challenging to reunite with relatives for the holidays. Still, at least our small family of four can celebrate Christmas together, and for that we are thankful.

Counting our blessings has a flip side, which is realizing that not everyone has someone with whom to spend this time of year. During a recent Christmas, this awareness spurred us to pass out food, drinks and other small items for the homeless.

It wasn't much, but we were rewarded with sincere mahalos, plus an ironic strengthening of our own 'ohana bonds as together we embraced a purpose bigger than ourselves.

The homeless we met were as divergent as the general population: elderly, keiki; local, from the Mainland; jobless, employed. Some came from troubled backgrounds or were battling difficult habits. A few suffered from mental illness. Others had simply fallen on hard times.

Differences aside, one thing we noticed was that no one really wanted to be by themselves, especially on Christmas. Yes, it's easy for us to grumble about how much work it is to host the family potluck, or roll one's eyes at the thought of meeting up with Mr. or Ms. Undesirable Relative. However, it is generally much better to be around 'ohana than to be all alone.

Community is a part of Christmas. On the original Christmas Eve, God sent Jesus to Earth in order to connect with us. Maybe this year we can likewise reach beyond our own circle of loved ones to extend aloha to others, reflecting the season's true spirit.

Monica Quock Chan is a freelance writer who lives in Honolulu with her husband and children.