Posted on: Monday, February 16, 2009
3 tips to make the most out of your day
By Heidi Stevens
Chicago Tribune
We asked Samantha Ettus, editor of "The Experts' Guide to Doing Things Faster," which of the book's 100 chapters she found most useful. Unable to narrow it down to just one, she (quickly) listed a smattering of favorites. Here are three:
Discuss a Difficult Issue With Your Spouse: "I used it the other night during what would have turned into a three-hour argument where you don't even remember what you were originally arguing about," Ettus said. "But because of the book, we ended it in 20 minutes."
Written by marital therapist and frequent "Oprah" guest Harville Hendrix, the chapter recommends this approach:
Mirroring, where you reflect back what the other person is saying without adding your own thoughts or feelings. (Person 1: "You were late and did not call." Person 2: "Let me see if I got that. You said I was late and did not call. Did I get it?")
Validating, where you look for the logic in your partner's words. ("It makes sense to me that you would feel angry and disrespected, since I did agree to be home at 7 p.m.")
Empathizing, where you try to imagine what the other person is feeling. "You feel disrespected and angry. Is that what you feel?"
Taking turns, where one partner feels fully heard before mirroring, validating and empathizing with the other partner. "Conversation now takes place between equals who co-create productive outcomes around any issue," Hendrix writes.
Find a Parking Spot: "I recently had a hair appointment at the mall and I could not get a spot," Ettus says. "Then I remembered the chapter said to listen with your ears as well as your eyes."
Erik Feder, author of "The Feder Guide to Where to Park Your Car in Manhattan (and Where Not to Park It!)," offers the following:
Roll down your windows and listen for keys jingling in someone's hand or a car alarm being disabled.
Look for someone with shopping bags in hand.
Be aware of activity inside parked cars — parents buckling in children, drivers fiddling with stereos, windows rolling down, all signs that a car may be vacating its spot shortly.
Get Ready in the Morning: "I love that chapter!" gushes Ettus. "I'm into the whole chart system now."
Hannah Storm, morning anchor for ESPN's "SportsCenter," gets up at 4 a.m. on weekdays. And she's got kids. She advises:
Map out the day. Storm creates a chart each night on which her three kids' hour-by-hour activities are listed, along with what needs to be taken to school and errands and tasks that need completing. She sets the chart on the counter each morning for everyone to follow.
The night before, make sure school bags are packed, kids' clothing is set out and anything special for school is by the door.
Check the weather at night and set out your clothes.
Keep your bathroom and makeup area clutter free so everything you need is easily accessible.
