His mother's death is still fresh enough to stop Kevin Kawamoto in mid-sentence when he describes her final months, but his comfort comes from knowing he was there.

Like many other middle-aged Americans, Kawamoto was thrust into the role of caregiver when his mother's health started to decline. She was nearly 80, and Kawamoto could tell when he called her from his home in Seattle that her independence was at an end. Her memory was failing, and she had fallen a few times. Without help, her problems would multiply.

For Kawamoto, the solution was to return to Hawai'i and move into his mother's Kane'ohe home.

His experience, as he juggled her needs and his career, pushed Kawamoto to his emotional and physical limits, but it is not uncommon.

Caring for aging parents is a growing trend that threatens to overwhelm families in the coming years as the population of aging Americans swells.

"It was a feeling of really trying to draw strength from wherever I could get that," said Kawamoto, a 43-year-old associate professor of communications at the University of Hawai'i-Manoa. "You need a tremendous amount of mental and physical energy to be a full-time caregiver."

The issue will find a broad forum today: Kawamoto and fellow caregiver Melissa Kamakawiwo'ole will begin blogging on the topic today in The Advertiser, and a new independently produced documentary, "The Graying of Hawai'i," will air on PBS Hawaii.

Both underscore a problem that will be around for some time.

Hawai'i's population of seniors has grown immensely since 1980, according to the state Executive Office on Aging. From 1980 to 2000, adults 60 and older increased 82 percent, but the number of people 85 and older increased 216 percent. By 2030, one in four people in Hawai'i will be 60 or older.

A VAST POLICY GAP

"The Graying of Hawai'i," produced by filmmaker Marc Delorme and Audrey Kubota, was three years in the making. When a friend first explained the issue over breakfast, Delorme was stunned.

"I think of myself as fairly well informed, and yet this social phenomenon had gone completely under my radar," he said.

"Our community has one of the fastest-growing elderly populations, and we are not prepared for that sort of social shift."

Delorme spent the first two years interviewing experts and caregivers, filmed hearings at the Legislature and attended conferences devoted to aging and seniors.

"The heart of our story is, it is simply not happening when it comes to policy and senior issues," he said. "But it raised a challenge: How do you tell a story of something that is not happening?"

The result is a 56-minute documentary. Delorme said he wants viewers to reach their own conclusions after viewing it.

Delorme struggled to get complete answers to questions posed to city and state officials, he said. In the end, he wound up with a documentary on aging that also highlights problems with open government.

He believes families facing this situation are looking for more help from government.

"There is a lot that needs to happen," he said. "The issue has to really be known by everybody in the community, and then I think people will have to come together and try to put aside their differences. There is a huge challenge ahead."

The documentary will be shown during "Insights," a public affairs program hosted by Dan Boylan, a history professor at the University of Hawai'i-West O'ahu.

Afterward, a panel of community and government experts will field questions from viewers.

"Needless to say, government at every level takes a shot," Boylan said. "They are saying we are facing a problem of crisis proportions, and I think it will resonate with a lot of people. There are a lot of families in this town taking care of their elders and not making a peep about it."

MEANINGFUL TIME

Kawamoto's mother died much sooner than he expected. He had only been home 13 months when she died this April. Still, he wants to share his story and believes strongly that there is a large audience of caregivers — and their elderly parents — who are eager to share their experiences as well.

"Even though I was very, very tired, oftentimes I was happy to be able to do what I was doing," he said. "There were times when I specifically made a point of telling my mother that I was glad I came back to Hawai'i to help her."

It became one of the most meaningful experiences of his life.

"You get a sense of what is really important in life and establishing a relationship with the person you are caring for that you want to carry on long after they are gone," he said. "I spent a lot of time with my mother, and we got to know each other at a very different level than we had when I was growing up."

Kawamoto's blog partner, Kamakawiwo'ole, is still caring for her 92-year-old mother, who remains bedridden after she fell and fractured her hip last summer.

A 46-year-old mother of three from Liliha, Kamakawiwo'ole said she got help last fall when a friend moved in. But she was so distracted that she found it difficult to stay focused, and she had to quit her job at The Advertiser.

"It wasn't that I was tired," she said. "It was more of being overwhelmed. Being at work and wondering if my mom was OK."

The experience gave rise to a lot of personal reflection. She has learned to detach herself from unpleasant moments — or risk a "continual state of emotional unraveling."

"It really is a look into your own life, a long gaze into your own life as you watch someone's life coming to a close," she said. "My mom isn't on her deathbed, but she is in her twilight."