The wall of TVs towered in front of me, a gleaming, state-of-the-art display of high-definition dreams.

From a distance — like, across the street when you're walking the dog and you see one though someone's window — these big-screen TVs look great. It's life-sized living room theater.

Up close, they're frightening.

On these screens, people are freakishly huge. Watch B.J. Penn duke it out with someone and you feel the need to duck.

I felt dizzy watching them and yet, I couldn't stop looking.

Mrs. G. had brought me here, to this corner of the big box electronics store, so we could replace our dying TV. She planned it as a Father's Day gift on a grand scale — and this was after we fought all Mother's Day.

She wanted me to pick one.

Her request left me almost catatonic. Here, in front of man's best friend — the real best friend, the one that comes with a remote — I could only stare. Truly, I was an unworthy pilgrim.

Mrs. G. secretly loves big TVs. Don't let her tell you otherwise. I discovered this not long after we were married. She had gone out to buy a specific size and model and found something else instead.

"I hope you don't mind," Mrs. G. said when she got home. "I bought something ... bigger."

I swear to you, angels sang when I opened the box. I think I wept. And it was only a 20-inch Sony.

But standing before a wall of flat-screen fantasies, I felt weak. Honestly, what real man has trouble choosing a TV?

I had thought it would be easy. Scope out the size and check out which one had the sharpest picture. I didn't want the biggest one, just one with a 40-inch screen.

But there were so many things to consider, so many technical features to master, that my brain hurt.

Progressive-scan pictures. What?

Judder? Is that even a word?

What's your wide-screen aspect ratio?

How can your black be blacker than my black? Huh?

One model I looked at actually said this: "4 HDMI inputs. Provide an uncompressed all-digital audio/ video link for the highest quality connection and support copy-protected HD broadcast content. Anynet+ HDMI-CEC support for controlling compatible peripheral devices with the TV remote."

If you say so.

And yet ... and yet ... you just can't turn away.

That picture is so straight-razor sharp, that bigger becomes more than an option. It becomes indispensible.

Before you know it, you've convinced yourself that it's OK to spend a few hundred dollars more than you ever dreamed you would spend on items far more serious than a TV.

Even then, when Mrs. G. told me what she wanted to spend, I almost passed out.

We left the store without buying anything. Every model we looked at seemed to lead to one with features we didn't understand.

But we'll be back. Once you've gotten that close, you just can't turn away.