A laptop, calendar and fruit smoothies set on a dinner table were all signs that the Williams' family meeting was good to go. At the top of the 'Ewa Beach family's agenda: planning an upcoming three-week vacation to California, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin.

As Bryan and Marybeth Williams went over important dates for the trip with their two daughters, their eldest, Elizabeth, penciled them into a calendar.

"So when are we going to Disneyland?" Elizabeth, 9, asked with a smile.

"I think Friday the 20th," replied Bryan, 36, looking over an itinerary.

"Yay!" exclaimed 6-year-old Bethany as she squirmed in her chair.

Elizabeth was just a toddler when the Williams family started having these kinds of meetings, which cover matters such as church events, chores and school work.

"They've benefited us tremendously," said Marybeth, 37. "Our girls always know what's going on and feel very involved in our family."

Family meetings like the Williams' afternoon get-together are a great way for families to regularly convene, communicate and address issues that matter to them — everything from finances to punishments, experts say.

"It's an important time for families to reconnect and share," said Mike Gabbard, founder of Aloha Parenting Project, a nonprofit agency that serves as a statewide clearinghouse for parents who are interested in learning about and improving parenting skills and techniques.

Gabbard, who has five adult children, said meetings held when his kids were younger were an opportunity for them to bond. Not only was it a chance to discuss family matters, but it was also a time to play board games or music, and read stories aloud.

"I remember them fondly," said Gabbard, who's also a state senator, D-19th (Kapolei, Makakilo, Waikele). "It was a time to really get together and just connect."

STAYING IN TOUCH

In today's multitasking society where busy families juggle work, school and extracurricular activities, it's even more crucial for family members to stay in touch with each other, said Brenda Lovette, a licensed psychologist with Lokahi Consulting Group in Kailua.

"It's hard to have dinner together, and that used to be 'family meeting' time," said Lovette, who works closely with women and families. "Now we have to make some specific time to discuss important facts."

Meetings can be used to talk about things like accomplishments at school or work; major decisions that need to be made as a family, such as getting a new pet or preparing for a trip; and schedules for the upcoming week — so having a calendar and notebook handy would be ideal.

"In addition to household chores and allowance, subjects like academic performance, showing respect, and ways to create success in these areas can be discussed," Lovette added.

Aside from going over specific topics, meetings can serve to boost morale, Lovette said.

"A family meeting helps everyone to feel a part of the team," she said. "It helps define everyone's role in the family and helps everyone understand what they are expected to do as a member."

It's also a good way to check up on how things have been going as a whole for each person, then consider what each person can do more of or work to change.

"It's a great time to identify what makes the family unique and how each member plays a specific role," Lovette said.

KEEPING ORDER

For the Yoshimuras of Makakilo — a family of 10 children and another due any day — it would be near-impossible to function without meetings.

Held at least twice a month, meetings are necessary to help keep things in order, said mom Mary "Willi" Yoshimura, 41.

They use the time to talk about things like upcoming events, household responsibilities, vacations and meals.

"Most importantly, it's an open forum," Yoshimura said. "We all have a perspective, from the littlest ones to the older ones, and they all matter. They all have a voice."

Children can actively participate once they are in school, but can be present at younger ages, Lovette suggested.

"One way I got my children to participate was to have a discussion about earning privileges, like social activities and computer time," said Lovette, whose three children are now in college and graduate school.

They also talked about chores, how they should be divided and allowances.

"I was surprised to see they came up with reasonable amounts for each chore," Lovette recalled.

During the Williams' recent meeting, Bethany, 6, kept busy by working on a checklist — complete with pictures — for a sitter who would be caring for Kona, their dog, and Tigger and Betty, their cats, while the family is away.

Bethany noted important tasks, like feed the kitties, walk the dog and "wash your clothes if you get dirty and stinky," she read aloud and giggled.

Bethany and her sister Elizabeth really get into family meetings, their mother said.

"They love them," Marybeth Williams said. "They really look forward to them."