Some people just can't say goodbye.

They're always the last to leave the party because they don't know how to disengage without guilt. Their grocery store conversations go on until all the frozen foods have thawed in their cart because they can't make themselves say, "Nice to see you. Gotta go."

It's not a matter of being too chatty. That's a different issue altogether. These are the people who worry about appearing rude by rushing off.

There may be a cultural component at work, though it would be unfair to say everyone in Hawai'i has trouble saying goodbye.

Some people can go to a party, stay for dessert and then slip gracefully out the door five minutes after saying thanks to the host. Others find themselves still out on the porch step in the wee hours of the morning, just steps away from the car but still doing the "we have to do this again sometime" hug for the 15th time.

They don't do the over-long goodbye in parts of the country where there's wild winter weather. Goodbye there is a quick thing, like ripping off a Band-Aid. Then there's the rush out the door so the cold doesn't get in.

Nobody walks you to your car and hangs in the window for 20 extra minutes chatting while you idle. It's just: "This was great! Thanks so much! Gotta go!" Then they go. Imagine.

But here, there's no freezing weather to chase us off the front porch. We tend to linger. We like sharing stories, and one story always leads to another.

It's as if it feels impolite to disconnect and walk away, even if everyone's eyelids are sagging and the hostess is sweeping up under your feet.

The pros say you have to start about 45 minutes before your planned exit by dropping hints. "Big day at work tomorrow." "Kids have a game in the morning." "Let me help you with those dishes."

Then, when it's time to go, you do the key-jingle in your pocket as a signal to all family members to meet at the car. Then, you stand up, say your thank yous and just walk out, not allowing yourself to be drawn into yet another story or pulled into another round of, "We have to do this again sometime. It's been so long. Remember the last time we got together? That was the time Ricky fell in the punch bowl. "

You have to just make your plan, stick to it and stop your mouth from starting any more stories. Besides, as much as you're dying to go, they're probably wishing you would leave already, but they just don't know how to make that happen.