The Upset Bird is preening insufferably. Amazing he can take wing at all wearing that ridiculous crown. Hey, in this business you gotta brag when the chance is there.

Plenty of weeks knock me flat, so when I return the punch, I’m-a let you know. Did great both ways last week, including another Upset of the Week bull’s-eye with Lions over Redskins. (”Detraawwk!”) Get on the bandwagon and expect a wild ride. I’m driving the football version of the bus in the movie Speed. (”Sandra Bullaawwk!”).

Last week: 13-3 overall (.813); 11-4-1 vs. spread (.733).
Season: 34-14 (.709); 23-23-2 (.500) vs. spread.

This week’s selections:

DOLPHINS THIS WEEK
BILLS (1-2) AT DOLPHINS (0-3)
When: 4:05 p.m. EDT Sunday
Line: MIA by 2; Cote’s pick: BUF 34-31
Safest bet here isn’t who wins or covers; safest bet is high side of the 37-point over/under. Chad Henne, in first career start, must feast on a Buffs secondary missing CB Leodis McKelvin and with both safeties banged up. Trent Edwards likewise figures to attack a suspect Miami pass-D with Dolphin-killer Lee Evans and sulking Terrell OwensBison edge might be RB Marshawn Lynch back from suspension, while Miami could miss OLB Joey Porter to a hamstring. Also: Miami is 3-14 against the spread in past 17 home games. Sorry, Dolfans. Upset!

GAME OF THE WEEK
JETS (3-0) AT SAINTS (3-0)
When: 4:05 p.m. Sunday
Line: NO by 6 1/2; Cote’s pick: NO 28-20
Tough call for the GOTW panel, vs. Ravens-Pats, Favre vs. Pack and even Bolts-Pitt, but this is Week 4’s only matchup of 3-0 teamsTwo celebrated QBs feather the marquee. Drew Brees gets the pregame treatment from Dan Marino/CBS, while Mark Sanchez is the second coming of Broadway Joe (at least according to starving Jets NYJ defense has been stout, but Planes have three less-than-healthy CBs facing a Brees-led offense whose 120 points are the most in the NFL after three games since 1968. Uh oh. Jets finally L-O-S-E!

UPSET OF THE WEEK
BENGALS (2-1) AT BROWNS (0-3)
When: 1 p.m. Sunday
Line: CIN by 5 1/2; Cote’s pick: CLE 24-23
“Aawwk!” croons the Upset Bird. “Cleveland Braawwk!” Cincy just stunned Pittsburgh and has Ravens next, so this is classic sandwich game Also thinking Earthtones’ moribund offense gets a big, timely boost in QB switch from Brady Quinn to Derek Anderson. Dice flying on a hunch! “Tumbling Dice,” adds U-Bird, effecting a Mick Jagger swagger. “Rolling Staawwk!”

DOG OF THE WEEK
BUCCANEERS (0-3) AT REDSKINS (1-2)
When: 1 p.m. Sunday
Line: WAS by 7; Cote’s pick: WAS 26-10
Today’s recipe: A team that is winless and truly awful vs. a team bad enough to have been beaten by a team that had lost 19 in a row. Voila! Dog of the Week. Bucs give young QB Josh Johnson (not the Marlin) a turn at TB’s dismal offense. Skins never a safe bet vs. spread in what should be a low-points game, but still like Washers covering because Tampa is that putrid.

LIONS (1-2) AT BEARS (2-1)
When: 1 p.m. Sunday
Line: CHI by 10; Cote’s pick: CHI 24-16
Matthew Stafford last week became first rookie QB since Terry Bradshaw in 1970 to end a losing streak of 15-plus games. But let’s not get greedy, Detroit! One win in a row is enough for now. Like Motown with points, though. Pandas at LB, and Lions 6-1 covering in past seven roadies.

RAIDERS (1-2) AT TEXANS (1-2)
When: 1 p.m. Sunday
Line: HOU by 9 1/2; Cote’s pick: HOU 31-14
Dog of Week runner-up finds Oakland so desperate it might re-sign Jeff Garcia to start over abysmal JaMarcus Russell. But that’s no help here. Russell will be his usual terrible self. Meantime Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson are big home-game performers and will delight their fantasy owners.

SEAHAWKS (1-2) AT COLTS (3-0)
When: 1 p.m. Sunday
Line: IND by 10 1/2; Cote’s pick: IND 34-17
Game earlier stayed off bet-boards because of Matt Hasselbeck’s iffy status. Now he’s out, but it won’t matter. All you need to know about this game is: Peyton Manning vs. a Hawks secondary missing two of its three best corners. Manning and Reggie Wayne fantasy owners: Beat the rush. Celebrate now.

GIANTS (3-0) AT CHIEFS (0-3)
When: 1 p.m. Sunday
Line: NYG by 9; Cote’s pick: NYG 30-13
NYG is in a mighty soft stretch of schedule, so only concern here is utter nonchalance. I try not to be a slave to trends, but the contrast here cannot be ignored: Biggies are 16-2 against the spread in their past 18 on road, while KayCee is 4-12 ATS in its past 16 at the once-feared Arrowhead.

RAVENS (3-0) AT PATRIOTS (2-1)
When: 1 p.m. Sunday
Line: NE by 2; Cote’s pick: NE 27-24
Game of Week runner-up should be a great one. Baltimore’s deadly balance makes it maybe best team in league right now, but Tom Brady’s Pats are getting close to sync on offense and are still a force at home. Pats might be missing NT Vince Wilfork but hope to have WR Wes Welker back.

TITANS (0-3) AT JAGUARS (1-2)
When: 1 p.m. Sunday
Line: TEN by 3; Cote’s pick: TEN 23-17
Titans are the best winless team in NFL. That makes you about as proud as being the smartest guy in a room full of imbeciles. Tenners face a letdown after last week’s loss to Jets, but still like ’em here. They’ve won four of past five in series, including past two in Jax, and Jags are 1-8 against the spread in past nine at home.

COWBOYS (2-1) AT BRONCOS (3-0)
When: 4:15 p.m. Sunday
Line: DAL by 3; Cote’s pick: DAL 27-17
Denver is about to be unmasked as a fraudulent 3-0 on the charity of a weak early schedule. It isn’t that I think the Cows are all that, but their ground game has topped 200 yards two straight games, might have Marion Barber back, and should dominate to shove the Broncos back down to Earth.

RAMS (0-3) AT 49ERS (2-1)
When: 4:15 p.m. Sunday
Line: SF by 9 1/2; Cote’s pick: SF 38-10
Niners lost a last-play heartbreaker to The Legend of Brett Favre last week and now are without injured RB Frank Gore, and yet I like Mike Singletary’s Frans in a big bounceback effort here. Might not be a worse team than St. Lose. SF swept Rammed in ’08 and still holds the broom.

CHARGERS (2-1) AT STEELERS (1-2)
When: 8:20 p.m. Sunday (NBC)
Line: PIT by 6 1/2; Cote’s pick: PIT 33-30
Sunday prime-timer finds champ Pitt unusually desperate, and with a defense missing Troy Polamalu something fierce. Steelers on a 6-1 series run, yet bet-line feels fat to me. Philip Rivers has 991 pass-yards in three games and could have LaDainian Tomlinson back. That means a great game, and close.

PACKERS (2-1) AT VIKINGS (3-0)
When: 8:30 p.m. Monday (ESPN)
Line: MIN by 3 1/2; Cote’s pick: GB 27-24
Monday nighter is Brett Favre vs. Pack, yeah, although the Nov. 1 rematch at Lambeau will be the real attraction. Not sold on Vikes yet, considering their 3-0 is over Browns and Lions and then last week’s last-second answered prayer. All eyes on Favre here, but my dough’s on Aaron Rodgers.

OFF THIS WEEK
Cardinals (1-2; next Texans): (Bulletin: Three of four bye teams have bird nicknames; Upset Bird files discrimination suit). After spanking by Indy, ancient, perpetually banged-up Kurt Warner relishes time to heal.
Eagles (2-1; next vs. Buccaneers): Kevin Kolb has filled in exceptionally with consecutive 300-yard games (thanks DeSean Jackson), but Birds should get Donovan McNabb back after the break.
Falcons (2-1; next at 49ers): Back down to Earth with loss at New England, but Matt Ryan and Falcs look like the real deal in same division with unbeaten, high-scoring Saints.
Panthers (0-3; next vs. Redskins): Cats are one of seven 0-3 teams. Misery, you got company. (Bonus fact: Not a lot of people know it, but “Delhomme” is a French word meaning “fading fast.”