PATRIOTS (1-0) at JETS (1-0)

Line: Patriots by 5 1/2
Over/Under: 47
Time: 1 p.m. EDT
Week 1 made my old pal Jersey Joe the Jets fan ecstatic: “I felt as if I was watching someone else’s team. For once, all the dreams were there. Why not anticipate glory?” The Pats should be 0-1, and with Richard Seymour gone and Jerod Mayo out, their defense is nothing special. If the Jets can run the ball and hit Tom Brady, Fireman Ed will be dancing down Route 17.
The pick: Jets

GIANTS (1-0) at COWBOYS (1-0)
Line: Cowboys by 3
Over/Under: 43 1/2
Time: 8:30 p.m.
Two ladies who work for my dentist love the Giants, and one said she hopes Jerry Jones’ giant scoreboard falls on him. That would be a splashy opening for Cowboys Stadium, and up in Gridiron Valhalla, Wellington Mara is working on it. Dallas is still very sloppy, and blown coverages by Tampa inflated Tony Romo’s stats. Bring the heat and watch Tony lose the ball.
The pick: Giants

Marquee matchups
SAINTS (1-0) at EAGLES (1-0)
Line: OFF (McNabb doubtful)
Over/Under: OFF
Time: 1 p.m.
Don’t expect Donovan McNabb (fractured rib) to play, and Kevin Kolb has shown nothing to make me “take the team in the first game after losing the star.” The Saints may have the league’s best offense.
The pick: Saints

RAVENS (1-0) at CHARGERS (1-0)
Line: Chargers by 3
Over/Under: 40 1/2
Time: 4:15 p.m.
San Diego’s offensive line is beaten up, a major worry against the Ravens’ nasty defense. The Chargers have lots of talent but far more flash than substance.
The pick: Ravens

TEXANS (0-1) at TITANS (0-1)
Line: Titans by 6
Over/Under: 40
Time: 1 p.m.
AFC South trends: Texans rule the Jags, who bow to the Titans, who pound the Texans. Tennessee is on a 7-1 ATS run against Houston, which struggles with physical teams.
The pick: Titans

COLTS (1-0) at DOLPHINS (0-1)
Line: Colts by 3
Over/Under: 42
Time: 8:30 p.m. Monday
Indy still can’t run the ball and misses Anthony Gonzalez and Bob Sanders. After being embarrassed in Atlanta, Miami will be psyched for Monday night at home.
The pick: Dolphins

VIKINGS (1-0) at LIONS (0-1)
Line: Vikings by 10
Over/Under: 46
Time: 1 p.m.
The NFL is investigating reports that the Lions hired Bernie Madoff to manage their salary cap from prison. If true, they’ll forfeit the No. 1 overall pick for the next five years.
The pick: Vikings

PANTHERS (0-1) at FALCONS (1-0)
Line: Falcons by 6
Over/Under: 43
Time: 1 p.m.
Jake Delhomme has made the Panthers Team Turnover, and their defense is in disarray, too. After being swept last season by Carolina, Atlanta wants revenge.
The pick: Falcons

RAMS (0-1) at REDSKINS (0-1)
Line: Redskins by 10
Over/Under: 37
Time: 1 p.m.
Field goal, four commercials, touchback, QB takes knee, end of half, six commercials: This is the NFL. The Rams could be worse than the Lions, who host them Nov. 1. Good seats are still available.
The pick: Redskins

RAIDERS (0-1) at CHIEFS (0-1)
Line: Chiefs by 3
Over/Under: 38
Time: 1 p.m.
Favorites went 8-7-1 ATS; home teams were 6-9-1. KC hasn’t been favored since Oakland’s Week 2 visit last year. The Raiders have more talent, but can they shake off the last-minute loss to San Diego?
The pick: Raiders

BENGALS (0-1) at PACKERS (1-0)
Line: Packers by 9
Over/Under: 42
Time: 1 p.m.
With 5 seconds left and the Bengals down 12-7, Gus Johnson mentioned they had two timeouts. At least he wasn’t screaming. And what’s the big deal about Brandon Stokley’s Immaculate Deflection? Denver was going to cover anyway.
The pick: Packers

CARDINALS (0-1) at JAGUARS (0-1)
Line: Jaguars by 3
Over/Under: 42
Time: 1 p.m.
Dueling negatives: Arizona flopped against the 49ers and went 1-5 on the East Coast last season. The Jags start rookie offensive tackles, and I don’t trust them as a favorite.
The pick: Cardinals

BUCS (0-1) at BILLS (0-1)
Line: Bills by 5
Over/Under: 42
Time: 4:05 p.m.
After a Super Bowl horror, Jeff the Bills fan attacked his deck with an ax. He might have chopped down the whole house after Monday’s fold. Buffalo rebounds at home.
The pick: Bills

SEAHAWKS (1-0) at 49ERS (1-0)
Line: 49ers by 1
Over/Under: 39
Time: 4:05 p.m.
Which mediocrity will be a deceptive 2-0? Seattle rarely excels on the road. The 49ers are 6-2-1 ATS under merciless Mike Singletary.
The pick: 49ers

STEELERS (1-0) at BEARS (0-1)
Line: Steelers by 3
Over/Under: 37
Time: 4:15 p.m.
Losing Brian Urlacher hurt a defense that’s no longer scary. Jay Cutler threw four picks in Green Bay, and it could have been seven. Rex Grossman is gone, but not his spirit.
The pick: Steelers

BROWNS (0-1) at BRONCOS (1-0)
Line: Broncos by 3
Over/Under: 37
Time: 4:15 p.m.
A lament from Michael Hostutler, who wears a Bernie Kosar jersey, circa 1989: “It’s over. I love my Browns, but I’m not hanging my heart on them anymore.” One win and he’ll be hooked again, and Denver stinks, too.
The pick: Browns