By Ferd Lewis
Advertiser Staff Columnist
Developed a Riley Wallace sympathy cough lately?
Find yourself yelling at the NCAA Women’s Basketball Tournament selection committee in your sleep or lighting candles for Troy Ostler’s ankle?
If so, these and other symptoms suggest you might be yet another victim of Martius Insania, which is threatening to reach epidemic proportions in the state.
Otherwise known as March Madness, it can be particularly severe for those who are spending increasing amounts of time in front of their television sets and sports pages.
Health care professionals say you should seek immediate help if you:
 Rush out to get your family Riley Wallace burr haircuts.
Believe Selection Sunday qualifies as a religious holiday.
Put Crystal Lee’s photo on your desk at work.
Wonder which state Bracketville is in.
Think Jeff Portnoy needs to come out of his shell and speak up more.
Can name all the Nos. 1 through 10 seeds but have no idea where you parked your car.
Are counting the days until Shea Ralph’s X-ray is sold on eBay.
Think UH should offer a major in bracketology.
Chant "Warm up the bus! · warm up the bus!" when your shift ends at work.
Describe your spouse as a "mid-major."
Know your favorite school’s Ratings Percentage Index (RPI) but not your kids’ birthdays.
Know where you were and what you were doing when Jackie Stiles broke the scoring record.
Sent Dick Vitale an invitation to your kid’s birthday l¬‘au.
Think your wife is developing a thing for Lefty Driesell.
Think those Digger Phelps 1960s basketball promos would make for a great TV sitcom.
Ask your barber for the Matt Doherty look.
Have tried to take adoption papers out on Carl English.
Threaten to put your spouse "on the bubble" when dinner is late.
When searching for a wedding gift, you look for the Jerry Tarkanian towel collection at Liberty House.
Chant "airball! · airball!" when somebody at work misses the trash can.
Took vacation time to watch the Mid-Continent Conference tournament.
Believe Billy Packer should have a wing in the Basketball Hall of Fame.
Find yourself humming the Gonzaga fight song in the shower — and you never went to school there.
Search Rand McNally for "The Road to the Final Four."
Wait by the phone to be offered the UNLV job.
Threaten to send your kids to Billy Tubbs’ basketball camp if they misbehave.
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