Even for those who have no family members in the Gulf, the Web and e-mail provide a means of finding information or, when none is available, of sending messages of anguish or sympathy out into an apparent void, trusting that the message will be received by someone who needs it.

Tony Ligaya, a Mililani resident, retired six years ago as a Navy lieutenant commander. His daughter once served in the military, but he no longer has family in service. Yet when tragedy struck in Iraq on Wednesday, his heart went out to the families of those killed, and he posted his thoughts on The Advertiser's Web log of sympathy notes.

"It's the camaraderie," he said. "Although I've personally not suffered a loss, I tend to have kinship with them, with those that are serving.

"The Internet is a great tool to stay connected," Ligaya added. "This technology was relatively young when I was still in uniform. We hardly deployed with it."

By way of contrast, Maile Alau, wife of Army Sgt. Michael Bennett in Afghanistan, can't begin to account for all the ways the Internet has kept her love alive. For starters, it was the first spark: Alau said she met her husband through an online dating service.

And now there's e-mail, which he can access fairly easily, she said, if only briefly.

"For a while he had access in his quarters, so we used to be able to instant-message, which was awesome," Alau said. "Then the satellite dishes got covered in snow, and that was the end of that."

She scans documents he needs and e-mails them. She passes things on to extended family. On Monday, the pair celebrated their first anniversary. Alau received flowers from her husband, ordered on the Web.

The Web is also a source of information for families, and offers an array of news reports.

Yuka Nagashima, president of the Honolulu Internet service provider Lava Net, hears Web surfers proclaim the benefits of sites such as Google News, where reports from varying viewpoints and political perspectives are rounded up.

"There are the blogs, where people are taking it into their own hands," she said. "You can do things to work out your emotions, rather than just reading: You can publish."

Brett Cramp, an Australian who often visits the Islands, heard about the tragedy briefly at home and visited HonoluluAdvertiser.com to express his condolences.

"During our last trip to Hawai'i, I was amazed at how the local people and tour guides are very, very proud of the defense forces and love people who have served their country ... so I thought it was appropriate and the least I could do to post my thoughts during this time," he said via e-mail.

People also find it easier to express their emotions through the veil of the Internet, Nagashima added.

"This is a way for people not surrounded by people in the same situation to find people, and share in a safe place. No one has to see you.

"You can be crying, or in your bathrobe," she said. "Sometimes all we have the will to do is get out of bed — but just barely."