The school has prepared for tragedy, even as officials and staff hope to avoid it, Schlosser said. "Our counselors have been prepared for this. They have actually been trained to work with students who are bereaving."

The school has also made arrangements to work with base counselors to help entire families make it through difficult times. "I've asked the teachers to be vigilant and to make sure they refer any child who is having any apparent difficulty to the counselors," he said.

At St. Anthony School, where 35 percent of students have a parent in the military, flags were lowered to half staff and the students reflected on the tragedy in the morning. "We prayed as a school community and remembered those who were killed," said principal Lovey Ann DeRego.

Otherwise, DeRego said, "We're just keeping everything status quo."

Senior Brad Santos, 17, said his Air Force Junior ROTC class discussed the tragedy, and he and friends also talked about it informally.

"We felt for them and their families. A lot of the people who are in ROTC have family or know somebody" who is in Iraq, he said.

His mother, Wendy Rosario, who helped make sure 1,000 soldiers had a care package during the holidays, said the war makes her more apprehensive about Santos' plans to join the Air Force after he graduates this year, but she is proud of his decision.

"He has a lot of compassion and he knows what he's doing, and he knows, too, that he might not be coming home," she said.

Despite the risks, Santos has no plans to change course. "I think it will be a good opportunity," he said.

As she waited to pick up her children from Kainalu Elementary School, Laurie Magos, a Marine wife, said her children have been spared some of the fears of other military dependents because their father is at home.

"We do try to talk to them about these things, though, because you never know when they're (the military parents) getting orders to go over there and replace the guys who are there now," she said.

While not touched directly by the tragedy, Magos said her neighbor's husband was the sergeant major in charge of the soldiers who were killed.

Magos worried about how much a school should address military tragedies.

On one hand, her family talks openly about war and she expects the same from the school. "I think it's scary for the kids," she said, noting that they need an outlet for their concerns.

However, she added, "Sometimes you just want kids to be kids and let them enjoy their childhood before reality sets in."

Reach Treena Shapiro at tshapiro@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8014.