Posted on: Friday, January 28, 2005

Money, food, baby-sitting may help

By Karen Blakeman
Advertiser Staff Writer

Family and friends of Kane'ohe-based Marines killed in Iraq will be going through some tough times in the coming months, but there are ways the community can make the seemingly unbearable bearable, experts said.

Whether it is providing financial assistance, volunteering to help care for a child or responding to the universal impulse to bring food in times of trauma, community support does have a positive impact, said Claude Chemtob, a clinical psychologist who splits his time between New York and Hawai'i and specializes in the treatment of people exposed to disaster and terrorism.

"Just don't stop bringing the casseroles too early," he said. "It's important to stay supportive over the long term. Don't be intrusive, but check back regularly."

Ken Lee, a licensed clinical social worker and disaster mental health volunteer with the American Red Cross, said families aren't the only ones likely to experience negative feelings. Those who have heard the stories of the bereaved or seen the traumatic incident on television may suffer similar symptoms.

"The term we use is 'compassion fatigue,' " he said.

The person suffering it needs to acknowledge the feelings as normal and avoid suppressing them, he said.