Posted on: Friday, May 27, 2005
Keeping romance going from afar
| • | Cheating hearts |
| • | Love triangle that never gets a kiss |
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More than 15 million students enrolled in the nation's colleges and universities last fall. How many of them will enter into long-distance relationships this summer?
Studies conclude that 78 percent of college students have had a long-distance relationship at some point during their college career and that more than 25 percent are in one now. But do they know what they're getting into?
"College kids may not be familiar with the types of issues that crop up in long-distance relationships," says Caroline Tiger, author of "The Long-Distance Relationship Guide: Advice for the Geographically Challenged." For example, how do they go about maintaining the level of intimacy they're accustomed to? What if they can't see each other every week? How often should they talk on the phone? Should they remain monogamous, or is this a good opportunity to test the waters as a single person?
Tiger's top tips for surviving a long-distance relationship:
There's no "right" number of times to call each other. Some couples call each other at, say, about 10 every night. Some leave a window of time open each night for their partner to call. Some talk every three days. Do what feels right for you, but make sure you talk about it and agree about timing and frequency.
Don't fight by e-mail. Because there's no voice inflection or body language to provide context, misunderstandings and arguments can happen way too easily.
Get a life. Between visits, maintain your independence and individuality. Hang out with friends, instead of sitting by the phone.
Keep the flame lit. Go the extra mile with creative gestures that'll reassure your long-distance partner that he or she is in your thoughts. Send care packages with reminders of your shared history. Have lunch delivered to her at her office. Burn him or her a mixed CD.
When you do visit, don't dwell on goodbyes. "The goodbye can hang over your heads for half the weekend if you let it," says Tiger. "Don't. In a long-distance relationship, time is precious." Spend the afternoon or morning before she leaves with friends. Do something active, in a group or with a few others, to keep your minds off that moment. Treat it like it's a Band-Aid that needs to be ripped off ... quickly!
Learn more: www.carolinetiger.com
